*Sadness*

I just read a post by a web-friend on a special website that made me think really hard. She and her girlfriend (Yes, that's right, they're GAY. GET OVER IT, BECAUSE THEY'RE AMAZING PEOPLE) have this awesome webshow they do together and are HILARIOUS! everyone in the community loves them, and, well, they're not afraid of showing it. One of them posted a journal tonight saying how she wishes people would stop telling them they love the girls, especially her girlfriend, because apparently she loves her too much and it's hurtful to hear things like that. I'm sure there are some creeps in the world who will say weird things about a girl, so I'm not surprised, and I completely understand. Or, I try to, having no idea what love like that feels like. But I'm sure if someone walked up to me one day and told me that she wished one of my best friends would be hers, I would be a little upset too. Because, hey, I care for that person too!
I'm sure it would be worseto feel that if you were DATING the person. and I feel horrible, because I HAVE told them that I was in love with their show, but I don't think I said anything bad enough to come across as LOVE loving them. The word LOVE is tossed around carelessly so much these days, I guess it's hard to take the word seriously. Now I feel horrible, as if I've hurt her myself. I hope I never told her anything that felt hurtful, because she is one of the most amazing people I've ever talked to, and I've never even seen her in person. We have so much in common, too, it's unbelievable.

I have to wonder how it would feel to love someone so intensely. I want that soon. Not, like, NOW, which would be creepy, but I hope I can get it someday. It always seems cheesy when read in books and talked about in movies, but hearing it from this girl, this real-life person, whom I have sen and talked to, and seeing them together having so much fun, I know they love each other, and I feel scared that maybe, hey, they're just lucky, and other people don't get that. Especially someone like me. But it is TOO SOON to be worried about that! XD

Still, I do feel awful. I left a sort of comfort/apology comment on her journal, because I felt horrible and wanted to help her feel better (she's also been having some family issues). It just makes me curious, is all. You can see they love each other, really. I wonder how much they had to go through admitting they were gay. Maybe that's what the family trouble is, but I don't know, and I shouldn't care. It's their business. I'm only curious because I don't have feelings for anyone yet. I think we're still too young, but so many people my age are attracted to each other and..... it's not as if I've been attracted to another girl at all, but I don't like guys much- except I've had a lot of guy best friends and all.

WOW THIS IS OFF TOPIC. AND EMBARRASSING.

I'm not going to delete it, though. Then it would just come back tome after I got it out in this post. My friend doesn't read this blog, but I really do hope that she feels better, and I hope she knows how sorry I am. I really do know how 'love' is becoming less and less important (The WORD) and I am sorry for whenever I said "I love u guys!" because she may have taken it the wrong way. But I think she has common sense, and she's very mature and smart, and she can work it out. I do love her, though, as a friend, which is weird because I've never even spoken to her in person.....
but whatever! I feel a little better now. I just hope they do, too! :(